I... Changed? - Part 2

time for my story again~

the story of X..
huhuh

well, i ended my last blog with me missing X muchly..
and i stayed that way all day long.. thinking of X..
thinking of me...
what happened to me..
hmmm...

makan X, tido X, study X, tulis X, everything X
its like im obsessed!!
but im not and i'll never stand at that level!
shameful state of mind..
no, im not obsessed.
im just..
well..
missing..
i dont know what im feeling..
waaaahhhh the language..
im turning my inside out~

so i went thru the day missing X...
until I cant bear the feeling.
then i messaged X
'hey.. emm i really need 2 tell u something. but im not sure whether it wud be ag ood idea or not. emm'

but no delivery reports.
X was using DG...
f**k
y shud i feel like this?
;(

so i decided to sleep and wake up at 0030
a time X wud usually have changed to MXS.

so i set my alarm.
but the ship wont set sail to slumberland.

I rolled on my bed
pusing kanan
pusing kiri
lipat2
golong2
huhuh

and then the ship set sail at 2315.
huh

at 0015, i woke up
grabbed my phone
and looked at the screen

'1 New Message From X MxS'

yeay

but

hmmm ;(
still wondering~

so i opened the message, where it read
'hey.. emm i really need 2 tell u something. but im not sure whether it wud be ag ood idea or not. emm <<- so wat is it? sory l8. lmbt tuka hotlink'

i dont care lambat or not, the thing is you replied my msg. and that makes me happy - and wondering.

then I replied something..
wat was it huh? emm
nvm
but the msg was something like 'im not sure. i dont want to ruin our fship' sorta

then X replied.
'wat is it? juz tell me'

of which i replied courageously.
another msg that i dont remember the words, but contained words like 'i... like u', 'gosh cant blv im doin this', and 'sorry'.

then it started
misery hour

X didnt reply my msg
for a long period of time
of which during that time
i kept on sending msgs saying that 'im sorry' and the likes of it.
i sent and i sent until finally X replied

'bleh tauk x the reason u like me?'

yeay!

so i replied the reasons.. not for you to know..

so the hour continued with us messaging about wat i juz told X.
X was again in the late-replying-getting-on-my-nerves mode...
and X's messages was kinda short
then i asked X,
'exactly wat izzit that you feel when i told u that?'

the answer - 'i was shocked'

brief yet easily understood(obviously).

then i apologized to X again.
and requested that the both of us shud message besa2 jak(besa=normal), forgetting wat happened.
X agreed, but asked again,
'since when o? since we'v started smsin each othr ka..?'
i replied
'no, since fs'.. but the message was longer of course, that's just the main point.
then X replied someting about 'wishing to know the reason for the liking'
and from there,
we messaged like besa2...
not talking about what i confessed
altho i really wanted to continue talking about that
but we'll talk about that in the near future..

after some 'besa2' smses,
X said
'tok last msg aku ngan kau.. kdt abis dah tok.. xtawk gk bla eload.'
means that its the last message for the night, as X's maxis punye credit dah x ramai dah
so I, kinda dissapointed, replied back with the usual replies I always gave in return for goodbye messages.
'okay. nites. take care aite =)'
well, sorta..

however, after that
i grew more worried.

not about myself, but about X too.

what if, X lied about the limited credit bcause of what happened before?
what if, X wont message me again?
what if, we're not even friends anymore?

i hope not.

i REALLY hope not.
if i cant be with X,
at least I want us to be best friends.

hmm...

still.. what is it with me? what happened to me? how did I change?
I am yet to find the answer for those recurring questions.

so thats it.
my 'pinkish' blog. ahax
making-me-cringe-blog...
now its time for me to sleep.
and wake up with the spirit of study week. yeahh!

and..
hopefully..
see X's message on my phone the moment I wake up 2morrow.
hopefully

altho
its close to impossible
i''ll still be hoping
waiting

and waiting
not juz for the message
but for X, too. I guess.
hmmm...
ive..
changed? ;(